I fell in love with my boyfriend because of his great sense of style and this may seem like a joke but I’m starting to wonder if he’s gay. He constantly critiques my outfits before we go out and has no problem telling me that my outfit isn’t cute and that I need to go back inside and change it. It hurts my feelings, I’m not even gonna lie. My friends even joke about him being on the down low. Is he stylish and mean or gay?
Dear Hurt and Confused,
Sadly, I cannot the be the one to tell you whether or not your man is gay. Plenty of straight men take fashion very seriously and place much importance of their appearance and that of their partner. You’re man might simply view your appearance as a reflection of him and will not be content unless your appearance meets his “standards”.
I’m in no way saying that your concerns about his sexuality are irrational. It is imperative that you are confident in certain areas of your relationship, the sexuality of your partner is one of these areas. Frankly, I will not even date a man if have the feeling that he’s a bit suspect, but that’s just me. You won’t be able to answer this question simply by analyzing his fashion choices. You can’t blame a man for wanting to look good but there are a a few other, non-foolproof, ways that might answer your question better.
1. Is he too eager to go anal?
Almost every man wants to switch it up every once in a while, but if he gives your ass more attention than he gives your vagina, you have a major problem!
2. Does he have a disproportionate amount of gay friends?
We’ve all heard the phrase, “Birds of a feather flock together”. Don’t start questioning your man if he has a few homosexual friends, but if you find that the majority are gay you might have a problem. Men love talking about their conquests with other men; what better audience than with a group of fellow straight men?!? If the majority of his audience is homosexual men, you wouldn’t be wrong for wondering exactly how much they have in common.
3. Does he notice insignificant changes in your appearance like a slightly different shade in lip color?
Let’s be serious ladies, a straight man is rarely going to comment when your nail color starts to chip a little, a gay man would. A straight man will never notice the difference, when you get a pedicure from a new nail salon, but a gay man sure would.
4. Have you ever caught him looking at men in the same way you would?
It’s perfectly normal for me to look at a man’s ass or crotch, I’m trying to size up whether or not he’s up for the challenge. If your man is looking, he’s probably doing the same.
5. Does he exhibit extreme homophobic behavior?
Men who are extremely homophobic are sometimes using this behavior as a means of being unable to deal with their own issues of sexuality. They are upset with themselves for having feelings of homosexuality, so they take these feelings out on men who are openly gay. If he overreacts to anything concerning gay men or the presence of gay men, you might want to question this behavior.
6. Is he no longer aroused by you or cannot maintain his erection?
This might be erectile dysfunction, which is a topic for a completely different article, or this might be a sign that your partner is no longer sexually attracted to women. Your man might be masking this problem by secretly using male enhancement pills, this is another factor to be on guard for.
7. Is gay porn in the mix?
Chances are he isn’t going to openly watch gay or bisexual porn, but periodically checking his web browser will tell you if he’s been watching gay porn or visiting certain dating sites straight men would never frequent.
8. He has an abundance of male friends, many of which you’ve never heard of?
If your man often says he was with various male friends, whom you’ve never heard of or been introduced to one might wonder what the nature of this friendship is. Men who are on the down low often have an abundance of mal friends, with whom he seems to be too close or too familiar.
9. Don’t ignore the signs! Ask!
Tread lightly as this is a sensitive subject, but express your concerns to your man. His response and overall reaction will often give you the answer you need